


Memorial

by Carmarthen



Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-07
Updated: 2010-10-07
Packaged: 2017-10-12 12:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/pseuds/Carmarthen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec did not like to think about why he marked the anniversary of Arkangel. Warning for suicidal ideation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memorial

It still puzzled Alec Trevelyan, years later, that he had kept James's old Beretta when M switched him to the Walther PPK.

Alec was not prone to keeping mementos, nor anniversaries, so he did not like to think about why he marked the anniversary of Arkangel, why every year he poured himself a shot of vodka in front of his mirror, drank it, poured another, and memorized his scars. He held James's gun in his hand, heavy and cold, and then to his temple for a moment and thought, in a cool, detached manner about what it would be like to blow his brains out.

On the darker nights, the only thing that held him back was the knowledge that James already thought him dead. Better to wait, and see the beautiful guilt on James's face when he knew.

Of course, he would never understand. He wouldn't be James Bond if he did.

Then Alec carefully wrapped the gun in black silk, put it away, and downed the second shot of vodka.

On the darker nights, he finished the bottle, in hopes that it would help him forget that, for James, he had always been second to Queen and Country.


End file.
